Love After Impact
by a1boogz
Summary: [COMPLETE]An examination of Asuka's feelings towards Shinji
1. Chapter 1

Love After Impact  
by: Al-I-Bus  
A1boogz@aol.com  
  
Disclaimer: Neon Genesis Evangelion is not owned by myself. I am not gonna talk about who owns them cuz I don't wanna.  
  
Background: Takes place after series, but before movie. I guess in an alternate reality. This will be from Asuka's point of view. The next will be from Shinji's. Here it goes.  
  
  
SPOILER WARNING. IT WASN'T PLANNED THIS WAY, BUT THIS COULD EASILY CRUSH THE WHOLE EVA SERIES FOR YOU IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN IT YET, SO I SUPPOSE YOU SHOULD WATCH IT BEFORE YOU READ THIS.  
  
  
It must have happened when we were synching. You know what I mean. When we fought the replicating Angel... the one I cut into half, only to watch in horror as it turned into two separate Angels. It was scary then, but now it's almost funny.  
  
I can't believe it....Not with that baka. Anyone but him. Touji at least has a nice build, Kensuke is at least smart. Kaji was at least, shit he was Kaji! But that baka! How... could it have happened? Maybe I shouldn't ask how, but rather why not sooner. It was there, I just never jumped at it, I was scared.  
  
Shinji thought I was asleep that night. When I wandered into his bed. At first I just wanted to play a trick on him, but when he was next to me, his arms wrapped around me, his warm breath tickling the side of my face......That was when I realized how much I wanted him.  
  
I opened my eyes just enough to be able to see him. His eyes were a deep blue, close to brown, but really blue. It was strange that I never noticed that before. Well I sure noticed it then. Shinji...He's alot like his dad, and that's not all bad.  
  
His lips drew nearer to mine, I purposely tilted my head, hoping, praying to God that he would kiss me. I hadn't prayed to God in a while, but I prayed for this. It was almost as if it was destined to be this way.  
  
Then at the last possible instant I got scared. I needed to get him away from me, so I called out to mama. I'm such an ass. It worked though. Shinji backed off, he's such and Angel. Much more of an Angel than that Kaoru.  
  
I can still remember when he almost made me slip and say it. When we were fighting, after the battle. He looked so cute, his hair matted to his head with sweat, his blue eyes shining with excitement. Such a sweetie. So quick! Everything I said, he was right back, well....until I accuesed him of trying to kiss me.  
  
"Shinji I love you." Is what I wanted to say after he admitted trying, but all I could manage was a strangled gasp and: " Mein Gott!" I treated him so bad, but I was baka!  
  
Then I remember when I thought for sure I would have to tell him.   
  
Damn! That was scarier than the thought of plummeting to the bottom of that volcano.  
  
I nearly cried out with glee when he gave me the idea for defeating the Angel. So smart! At least this gave me an excuse to be nicer to him later. Shortly after, though it didn't seem like there was going to be a later. I dangled by a strand. The thinnest of fibers held me dangling between life and death. Then it snapped.  
  
Misato told me later that he got chewed out by his father for three hours because of it. Why did he save me? To keep a death off of his conscience? Or because of me? Would he have done it for Rei? I wonder.....  
  
He jumped into that lava without the proper heat protection. The Type- B equipment saved him, but he must have been in enormous pain. Plus he did some damage to the Eva's armour. His father was mad as hell. Misato just smiled....She wanted us together from the start anyway.  
  
I don't think I want to talk about Kaoru/Shinji/Gendo right now. That was painful to watch. Poor kid. And it wasn't easy watching, I loved him then too. Baka.  
  
If I ever meet that Angel again I'll kill him with my own bare hands. Fucking white haired wonder. He was such an asshole. Kaoru knew what he was the whole time. He knew and he knew what he was going to do to Shinji.  
  
Then He had to choose to be a jerk. The Angel of free will decided that following SEELE was more important than being true to his heart...I mean even Rei has become kinda cool since the end. I'm happy that I can call her a friend.  
  
I hate Gendo. If he wasn't Shinji's dad, I'd kill him..I should anyway. I can't believe how he treated my Shinji. Did I just say my Shinji? Oh well.  
  
Listen...whomever is reading this. Know that I, Asuka Langley Soryou, Love Shinji Ikari with all my heart and soul. Every part of my being screams out to him for love and attention. I want to be a part of him. I don't care about anything else anymore. Simply Shinji.  
  
If you see him....think you could tell him for me? Please.  



	2. Chapter 2

Love After Impact  
by: Al-I-Bus  
a1boogz@aol.com  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Evangelion or its characters in anyway shape or form. This work is intended to entertain, and I do not intend to benefit from its production or distribution financially in anyway.  
  
Background: Takes place after the series but before the movie. Although this is a sequel it was meant to run parallel to my earlier Asuka monologue. This will be from Shinji's point of view  
  
SPOILER WARNING: THIS COULD RUIN EVA FOR YOU. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED  
  
The best way to think of it is as having something important to protect. Like a gift given to you, and your job is to keep it safe. That's how it is. Or at least thats how I thought it would be. Things can't ever stay the same though...  
  
She was cute as hell....I had to force my eyes away from her, otherwise I would have simply followed her around. It was her eyes that caught me first. I know it's strange for a guy, especially one my age to say, but it's true.  
  
The simplest way to describe them would be to call them blue. But that doesn't sum it up. They aren't just blue. Sometimes their this bright blue, so bright that they are almost grey. They dance right before you, light shimmering as it touches those beautiful orbs.  
  
Other times they become a deep, dark blue. Nearly black. Thats when they become really dangerous. You could gaze into those eyes and withing seconds you'd be gone. Only a shell would be left, your innerself plunged into those eyes. It's like flying, your spirit is whisked away and you just fall. Every thought that you may have had, before you lost yourself in those eyes, ceases to be. All there is is darkness.  
  
Usually I'm brought back to reality at this point by a slap or a piercing " Dumkoff!", or, " Baka!" But it's always worth it.  
  
There was one time when her screeching baka was the sweetest sound in the world. When I realized her support cable had snapped I lost it. By the time I was aware of what was going on, there was lava on all sides of me. It was HOT! Understatement of the year right?  
  
Then I saw her, dangling there, waiting to die. If she fell, I was going to follow her, I knew it in that instant. I was dimly aware of Misato screaming at me, but I couldn't make anything out. Things happened in slow motion, the lava rushed passed me as the rip in the cable grew wider. In desperation I threw my arm out and grabbed for anything. Later she told me it looked as if I was completely in control. In reality the only thing that kept me sane was her: " Baka. You show off".  
  
I just wished she would love me back. Wait ignore that I don't think I meant that. Well why not? She completes me in a way that no other person ever has. She doesn't realize it, or maybe she does, but doesn't care. People keep telling me to go for it...maybe I should. I'm so scared, what if she doesn't want me?  
  
I thought that I at least had a shot after we synched together so well. I figured that she would at least respect me a little more. It didn't work out that way, but it's ok. I guess she is one of my friends, and that's better than nothing right?  
  
Asuka Soryou Langley...you're the other part of me. If you ever understand that know that I'll wait forever if I have to. That I swear. I love you.  
  
Do you think she already knows? 


End file.
